tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-396296859297638787.post6723480464802969813..comments2023-09-24T10:33:20.956-05:00Comments on Everything over Rice: Boys Don't Cry (and they don't take showers with grown men)The Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12113914274990731396noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-396296859297638787.post-8861113966668387292011-11-18T11:16:42.121-06:002011-11-18T11:16:42.121-06:00Well, as a man, the "touchy feely" senti...Well, as a man, the "touchy feely" sentiment with boys is too closely associated with homosexuality. With the hyper-masculinity that drives male identity in westernized, patriarchal societies, a boy has too much to lose to consent to his desire to be "cuddled" by a grown man. Boys learn very early on the rules of masculinity- never show weakness, be independent, your masculinity is constantly contested by other men, etc. <br /><br />Now, does this translate into repression and dysfunction later on? I don't think it has to, and if it does, it is coupled with other issues (with attachment, development, and self concept). I think, though, the issue with the nephews is just a matter of trying to be that anchor for masculinity (especially if the boys are being raised by single mothers who may not understand this dynamic) that the boys will at least have to understand as they get older, even if they do not agree or accept.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-396296859297638787.post-55411551376206814542011-11-16T19:46:19.423-06:002011-11-16T19:46:19.423-06:00You're right, TD. In many ways, I lament the w...You're right, TD. In many ways, I lament the way in which boys are so quickly pushed into a tight box of gender conditioning. I'm sure that all of that fosters the isolation and repressed emotion that turns into the kind of unproductive behavior for which boys are both punished and rewarded later. That aside, this Sandusky mess is total BS. Any grown person who thinks that naked horseplay--alone, in a shower--is no big deal, has a problem. And I don't believe this nut thinks that it's no big deal either. I mean, ask any man around you if he's sexually attracted to young boys; does he scream "No" inside of 3 seconds? How long does it take this sociopath to sort of, kind of say no? Total BS . . . .The Steel Magnoliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328240056707198233noreply@blogger.com