Wednesday, August 12, 2009

You're Gonna Miss This (Think Trace Adkins)

I go back to work tomorrow. I am so glad I have a job and I like my work, but I hate for this time to end.

I don't think that I ever mentioned that we brought Popcorn home (she came home in June), but all summer I've been a stay-at-home mom. It's been wonderful!

At first, despite what the nurses said in the NICU, she did not eat and fall asleep immediately. When we would wake up in the middle of the night, she stayed awake for the rest of the night. Either me or Diva's Husband would be fighting sleep while rocking the baby who would be just looking at us with eyes wide open. So, having the chance to stay home all day was beneficial. Now, she is sleeping through the night (yea!), but I just like being home with her. We play and read and sing and sleep and just be cuddly together.

Tomorrow I have to take her to the babysitter. Initially I was extremely sad about the idea that being with the babysitter would be the first time since she came home that she would be without either me or her father, but then I remembered that there have been a few times when her grandmothers came to visit that I ran to the store while DH was at work. That made me feel better. But only a little.

Before I had her, I always thought I would welcome the opportunity to go away and have time and space to myself. Now, although the prospect of getting back to the world of academics and intellectual pursuit is mildly exciting, that opportunity is not looking quite as appealing.
My mom and aunt say I will get over this feeling by the second day. I'm doubtful.


ck said...

I cried the first day I left my daughter at daycare. I couldn't focus. The guilt was pretty bad. But it does get a little better each day. You just wind up loving your baby even more when you're together and savoring the weekends. And there's nothing wrong with that!

The Steel Magnolia said...

I don't know about getting over the blicky feelings by the second day, but the anxiety will get better. And eventually you will be glad to get away--perhaps around the whiny 18 month to two year old stage! Still, trusting someone else with your baby is a serious thing. Nothing wrong with calling 100 times a day, though. :)

Justin Narin said...

This is both sweet and sad for you. You will cherish the company of the kid more especially because your time is now limited and the sad part is the daycare though it is the best and only option left for you.

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