More harried linking (sorry)

Since it's the end of the semester and I'm way behind on grading, preparing for an exam, and blah, blah, blah, I wanted to share this clip. I wanted to write an actual post, but I have nothing to say that doesn't have to do with running to programs, baking, and--of course--reading essays of various and questionable quality. And that's boring, so enjoy a different bloggy mom. She's as harried as me, probably more so, and yet she can still blog. Hmmm. Oh well, I'm not that sorry since it's a good read. Enjoy:

http://www.justicejonesie.com/blog/blog/category/motherhood/

A Mother's Day

What I planned to do this Mother's Day: Take a bubble bath and polish off The Help while eating lots of things that totally violate my low sugar headache-eliminating plan.

What I actually did this Mother's Day: Waited about a hundred hours for dinner with every person in the universe and her mama, ordered a thousand pounds of food, ate about three bites, passed out in the car along with children (thankfuly, The Hubby was driving!) then came home and did laundry. And ate one thing that totally violated my low sugar headache-eliminating plan. And I'm not complaining. ;)

I Need a Wife

I am exhausted. And I don't have the time or energy to do it all. I have an extremely time-consuming project going on at work in addition to my three different class preps; midterm grades are due tomorrow and I haven't finished grading the midterm exams; I have a paper presentation in November for a paper I have yet to even begin researching; there is a pile of clothes on my bathroom floor that is screaming to be washed; additionally, there is a pile of clothes on my den floor screaming to be put up; there is paper strewn about my office; my fingernails bend and break when I pick up the tiniest thing (which wouldn't matter so much at this point except it hurts like heck); my daughter will not allow me to make a move without her right there, on my heels or in my arms; I need to select and purchase a new cell phone since my child broke mine; there are prescriptions I need to find time to call in and pick up; and I have to force myself not to scream out loud at least once a day.

Is this what being an adult woman is all about? Y'all can have it. I'm going back to my teen years. As soon as I find time to build a time machine. . . .

This is What Happens When Your Mother's an Academic

We were reading the iconic and time-tested story, The Giving Tree which both children really love. The simple drawings are inviting. The story itself is beautifully written.

But I had an epiphany a while ago that this tree must be a mother. She freely gives every part of herself away. She puts the boy ahead of herself at every turn. They go through their lives together, playing and learning. The boy comes to her when he's young and moves away from her as he gets older. In fact, he moves away from her and to another woman!!!! (Remember how he carves "T & Me" on the tree and then he starts carving some chic's initials?) The tree is happy when the boy is happy.

Then, I was reading the book at naptime the other day and I had another epiphany: I hope my daughter (and my son, for that matter) don't see this story as an example of how women should behave in relationships. This tree is very giving, but maybe she's just pathetic. Don't give all of yourself away! If all a guy ever does is take from you, run! This boy just wants to use you up, fulfilling his dreams. Then, you are left with nothing but a stump. But when he's needy and old, he shows up again--like you had nothing better to do than wait around on him!

I'll keep reading the book to them because they love it and so do I. But we might have to have a talk in a few years.

Taking a breather

I'm sitting my eerily quiet house. Alone. I'm crocheting for the first time in months. Had greasy pizza and cold soda for dinner. Will devour ice cream in a bit. Watched a movie from start to finish without having to stop it even once. Read a magazine.

Hubby will be back with the babies soon. Life is good.

Happy Mother's Day to me.

And to all of you. :)

A Wonderful Weekend

SM, I'm glad your day is getting better. And of course you're not a loser!

My day began fine; I just have the daunting challenge of getting out of the house on time so that I can make it to class on time. I have not made it to my first class on time at all this semester. I think I need to wake up at 6 instead of 7 until I completely stop nursing (which will be soon, but I'll discuss that in another post). Anyway, despite my few minutes of lateness, class went well.

I had a wonderful albeit busy weekend. Last week The Popcorn turned 1! Even before I had a child, I always said giving a one-year-old a party was more about the parents and not the child and so I would have a grown-up party if anything and maybe give myself a gift. Well, this weekend I held true to that--somewhat.

I initially had planned to just have dinner with the three of us and maybe take some pictures, but then I thought about how hard this first year was and how blessed we were to have The Popcorn here, in life and at home, with us, and decided we should celebrate in a bigger way. So, we had a family dinner. I invited DH's immediate family, my immediate family and my sister-in-law's parents. I'm really grateful to them because they all had to travel at least an hour (and more) to get to our house. And they brought her gifts which for some reason, I wasn't actually expecting. (I guess I have been out of the birthday party game for too long.)

The theme of the dinner was Celebrate the Colors of Life! I decorated the dinner table in red, green, blue and purple. I made a centerpiece that was too small, but as it consisted of candy, it was delicious! I also used my good china which in so many years of marriage, I have only used once before. Everyone said my table was so pretty. Also, in keeping with the theme, DH wore a bright blue shirt, I wore a yellow shirt and I dressed The Popcorn in a multi-colored outfit.

For dinner we served the foods that The Popcorn is eating now, in a more flavorful adult version: sweet potatoes, green beans, and carrots. We also had cornbread, rosemary chicken and KFC (because I didn't cook enough rosemary chicken). I was going to buy a cake, but my mom acted like that was scandalous, so I made cupcakes.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend and it was good to see family. The Popcorn got to hang with both of her grandmothers who love to shop for her and DH and I got to reflect on how happy we are to have our little baby with us.

You're Gonna Miss This (Think Trace Adkins)

I go back to work tomorrow. I am so glad I have a job and I like my work, but I hate for this time to end.

I don't think that I ever mentioned that we brought Popcorn home (she came home in June), but all summer I've been a stay-at-home mom. It's been wonderful!

At first, despite what the nurses said in the NICU, she did not eat and fall asleep immediately. When we would wake up in the middle of the night, she stayed awake for the rest of the night. Either me or Diva's Husband would be fighting sleep while rocking the baby who would be just looking at us with eyes wide open. So, having the chance to stay home all day was beneficial. Now, she is sleeping through the night (yea!), but I just like being home with her. We play and read and sing and sleep and just be cuddly together.

Tomorrow I have to take her to the babysitter. Initially I was extremely sad about the idea that being with the babysitter would be the first time since she came home that she would be without either me or her father, but then I remembered that there have been a few times when her grandmothers came to visit that I ran to the store while DH was at work. That made me feel better. But only a little.

Before I had her, I always thought I would welcome the opportunity to go away and have time and space to myself. Now, although the prospect of getting back to the world of academics and intellectual pursuit is mildly exciting, that opportunity is not looking quite as appealing.

My mom and aunt say I will get over this feeling by the second day. I'm doubtful.

The Human Touch

We got to hold our baby this past week. We've done so three times now. The first time I held her I was nervous and could only think about not dropping her. Although I was sitting in the cushioned rocker/glider that they provide for mommies to comfortably sit in while holding their child, I was not really comfortable and had to remind myself to un-tense my arms because babies can sense nervousness. But I couldn't help it because she's so tiny and fragile--a fact reaffirmed for me as I was holding her. Actually looking down into her face, and not through the contorting glass of the isolette, I was made acutely aware of how small and precious she actually is.

The second time I held her I was not nearly as nervous and could focus on bonding. Which I totally did. She had been sleeping while DH held her and when I got her, she turned in toward me and started making suckling motions with her mouth. Ohhh. I really wanted to oblige her. She looked so sweet and I felt so close to her.

Each time I hold her I want that much more to take her home.

Yummy Mummy

So, lately I've really been feeling like a dumpy mommy. I see the other moms dropping off their children and they look like glamazons--cute shoes, flawless make-up, tailored clothes, fresh hair. Unless I have someplace to be, I'm probably wearing jeans. Who are these women, I've been wondering? Aren't they as tired as I am? Don't they have a stack of clothes that don't fit? And why do they all seem 10 years younger than me? I'm in a wedding this weekend (yay A.!) and I had to rummage through my bathroom for my cosmetics stash. I'm sure I'll need to get a mani/pedi for the event, too, but I don't know even know where to go. Clearly, I have not been doing my womanly maintenance.

Nevertheless, I ran out for lunch today and the guy at the counter said, "Hey, beautiful!" I almost turned around to see who he was talking to. But, since I've learned from The Diva, I just smiled and accepted the compliment. Then, as I was walking out of the restaurant, another guy said, "Hi beautiful!" Two compliments inside of 15 minutes! Now, truthfully, I had just had my brows done, and I was wearing real clothes. Still, I felt a little less like a mom machine. I should probably pay more attention in general to these sorts of things. I forget that there's a payoff. The balance between motherhood and the other roles women play is so difficult to navigate. how are we supposed to do it?