Thursday, April 29, 2010

What the what?: Questions from grading jail

  • How can I take some project and pimp it out for the next couple of decades like Candace Bushnell?
  • How can I tell if non-traditional students are serious when they claim that they are "Just really confused" about citation methods and "don't understand" the problem with taking 90% of an article, plopping it in your essay without quotations marks, and inserting totally different names in the parentheticals?
  • How can I explain to publishers that my book project is actually much better than Lil' Wayne's ex-wife's book (oh, wait--she's so much more than his ex-wife; now she's an authoress)?
  • How can I get all of my besties to move to my city since now one good friend is applying for a position at my institution?
  • How can I get a CT scan of Henry Louis Gates' head to see what's wrong with him for suggesting that American slavery (and Jim Crow too, I guess) is everybody's fault and nobody's fault?
  • How can I keep from killing the lovely herbs that I've just discovered in my new backyard?

5 comments:

Ink said...

SUCH good questions. Sigh. Wishing you the best of luck in grading jail...

The Steel Magnolia said...

Thanks, Ink. Got all excited about the last day of class, then realized that I still have a buttload of stuff to do!

evenshine said...

Um, ditto? Someone please answer, especially the one about Gates. Never understood the man. And the one on documentation....sighhhh...

The Steel Magnolia said...

evenshine: yeah. sighhhh. Not much else to say, huh?

The Steel Magnolia said...
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