Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Human Touch

We got to hold our baby this past week. We've done so three times now. The first time I held her I was nervous and could only think about not dropping her. Although I was sitting in the cushioned rocker/glider that they provide for mommies to comfortably sit in while holding their child, I was not really comfortable and had to remind myself to un-tense my arms because babies can sense nervousness. But I couldn't help it because she's so tiny and fragile--a fact reaffirmed for me as I was holding her. Actually looking down into her face, and not through the contorting glass of the isolette, I was made acutely aware of how small and precious she actually is.

The second time I held her I was not nearly as nervous and could focus on bonding. Which I totally did. She had been sleeping while DH held her and when I got her, she turned in toward me and started making suckling motions with her mouth. Ohhh. I really wanted to oblige her. She looked so sweet and I felt so close to her.

Each time I hold her I want that much more to take her home.

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