TD, you know my motto is, "Feel how you feel." We can't wallow for long in the viccitudes of life, but sometimes giving in to the "blah" is the only way to keep breathing air. That's how I felt on Friday; I just decided that trying to be professional didn't preserve my job and being cordial didn't make the circumstance better for me. So, I was kind of pissy. I almost didn't shake the woman's hand at the end of the debacle. Whatever. So, sister, if today you need to fall face down in a bowl of ice cream, do it. If you need to scream about how unfair life is, have at it, because it is unfair. When tomorrow comes, do what you need to do then, too. And while life has beat some of the optimism out of me, I do believe that each day we have what we need to get through that day. Tomorrow we may need something else, but for today, we have enough mustard seed hope, enough tiny sparks of joy, enough focus and strength of character to keep us off the floor.
But, doggone it, we ain't got to like it!
My firstborn came in my second pregnancy, too, and even though I told you not to get excited, you did. So I'm excited for you. And, I will do for you what you did for me: while you can't plan or wait, I'll anticipate your shower, I'll buy the cute outfits, and I'll gather lots of toys to pass down to you (and to declutter my house, but that's just a bonus). From my vantage point, what does it matter? Whatever is going to happen won't be changed because my heart got happy. Plus, I need something to be happy about--what else do I have to do? That's where I am today. I don't know how my job situation will resolve itself, but I'm trying to be open. Of course, the other side of the truth is that I had planned to write a post on how many people have told me that they've "never seen the righteous forsaken," to which I always want to respond, "What if I'm not righteous? And what does forsaken look like?" Nevertheless, I'm hanging onto survival.
Here's the thought for the day: "If you're going through hell, just keep on walking. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there." If this isn't a country music moment, I don't know what is.
9 months ago