Plans

They say the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. And then there's that saying that man plans and God laughs. And life is like that. We make all of these plans--go to college, get a good job, get married to a great guy, have two, maybe three perfect and beautiful children, great friends, buy a lovely house in a good neighborhood and prepare for happiness and good times to ensue. Sure you expect the occasional hiccup, but nothing that you really can't handle because you have made plans and you are following the steps to achieve them. But it doesn't always work out like that.

I sympathize with your situation, SM. You have made plans to go to work, to do the best for your students, and then someone comes along and tells you that those plans don't matter. What can you do?

I sympathize with your situation because my own plans have been thwarted. The news that I had earlier was a second pregnancy. I won't talk about how I had planned to have the first baby and be a happy mother taking care of her 3-month-old son right now. That's not how life worked out. So, I adjusted and created new plans. I had planned to be pregnant right now, reveling in my sizeable baby bump. I was so looking forward to wearing all of my new maternity clothes. I had planned to be checking into daycare centers for the fall about now. I had also anticipated going to my baby shower in March and glowing as I got to open diaper genies and boxes of Huggies. Alas, that is not the way life has worked out for me. My baby came much sooner than we had planned. Thankfully, she is still with us, but we are now faced with emotional and physical difficulties for which we never could have planned.

Now, I am learning not to plan. I am trying to "keep it in the now" as George says in Mama Day. I don't anticipate what will happen tomorrow because there is absolutely no telling. Who knows? Maybe I will still get to have that baby shower, but it is not something that I am planning to attend. If it happens, it will happen. If it doesn't, I would not have dreamed about it or anticipated it or even thought about what it might be like. And this is the way that I am approaching each aspect of my tiny baby's life right now as well as my own. Maybe this is not the best way to live, but it is a good way to survive.

I know this post seems a little nihilistic and I don't mean to be this way because I have things to be optimistic about, but sometimes, my disappointment about my pregnancies takes over. And now, considering your wrongful firing, the pessimism prevails. Maybe tomorrow might bring happier times.