Random This and that

I'm going to try to make this about more than TV shows, but I can't make promises . . . .

• I'm watching "16 and Pregnant" and really, really having a problem sticking to our "We're done having babies" resolution.
• Between crochet and computer use, it feels like I'm rubbing my fingerprints right off.
• If one more person asks me if I've seen "For Colored Girls" I might launch into some rant about how I'm not excited about seeing it and how I really just wish everyone would see a stage production and the many issues many people have with this film--oh wait! I did that in class the other day with students. Oh well.
• I wonder if people on reality shows feel bad about themselves when they see that their "English" needs subtitles.
• I really don't like Christmas shopping.
• The baby is crying on "16 and Pregnant". Now I remember why we're finished having babies.

MTV Finally Got It Right

I have gone against my principles and started watching 16 and Pregnant and today I even auto tuned my TV to view "Life after Labor", the reunion show. I'm glad this show exists because it puts a more realistic, less romanticized view of parenthood before teenagers. Maybe it will help prevent unwanted pregnancies before they happen (an effort I don't believe we are realistically actively engaged in as a nation).

Part of the realism is the toll pregnancy and parenthood takes on one's relationship. I remember thinking as a teenager how wonderful it would be to marry my then-boyfriend and have a baby. That was foolish; it would be awful and hard and considering the fact that I didn't marry my then-boyfriend (we actually broke up before dating a year), lonely and heartbreaking. Those issues come out on the show.

In a more trivial, but still real instance, one of the young moms-to-be was trying to decide when to take her senior pictures and her mother told her she would be all puffy after the birth. The girl said she didn't plan to be puffy. Because she didn't know; in the romantic version of pregnancy (even for non-teenagers), you're beautiful and glow-ey as a pregnant woman/new mom. Yeah, but in real life, that ain't true and she was puffy. So, the show is good in revealing some of the truth about pregnancy.

I know you have discussed these issues before, SM, but I was so moved by one of the hard truths demonstrated in the series through the story of Catelynn that I had to write about it as well. Her story broke my heart. She and her boyfriend made the heart wrenching decision to give their baby up for adoption. It was an incredibly mature and--as they said 12,000 times in the reunion show--brave decision to make. I cried as I watched those kids give up their baby. In the abstract you think, this will be a good thing because they can go on with their lives and the baby will be happy and etcetera etcetera. But watching Catelynn go through the birth and her boyfriend sob afterward because he had to hand over his daughter to virtually strangers, you recognize that there are no easy choices in this situation. I was especially moved by this story, in part because I put myself and our Popcorn in their place and it was unbearable. My heart goes out to Catelynn and anyone who makes the difficult choice to give a baby up for adoption.

Having a baby is more than a notion, man. . . .

Birth Control

By now, it must be clear that I love television. Add a compelling real-life story, and I'm hooked. The latest thing that's got me on the line is MTV's "Sixteen and Pregnant." I'm interested in part because I had such wonderful and fascinating birth experiences. I'm also interested because I will have teenagers, and before I know it, according to the older parents I know. I'm learning a lot about how they think. Most of it is less than encouraging. But I'm still enthralled by the drama.

I heard once of a mother who decided that she would not allow her teenage daughter to have pain management drugs during labor; this was her version of birth control. At the time, I thought it was creative and brilliant. Certainly a horribly painful "natural" birth would remind this girl to use a condom next time, right? Now, having had two unmedicated deliveries, I can say that the pain is something of a "blocker" when it comes to making more babies. I loved my birth experiences, but man, it slows me down when I think about having more children. As I was going to the MTV website to look for follow-up info on the families (yes, I realize that this is ridiculous, but it's the summer and I like my fluffy guilty pleasures--let me be!), I started to wonder if teenage viewers would see the couples on the show as celebrities, complete with a sweet-smelling mini-me. Only one of the featured teens has offered her baby for adoption, so perhaps it seems easy to raise a child.

The show does highlight the very difficult issues of teen parenthood. Securing housing and employment, lack of social life, lack of sleep, broken relationships, stunted education, and an altered body are part of the story. But the constant day-to-day of parenthood, especially when you don't have resources, could easily be lost on a viewership not known for looking beyond on the nose on their faces. I'm constantly reminded in my own life that trying to raise a child and be the kind of parent I want to be would really suck if I had only sixteen years of life experience and wasn't even prepared to take care of myself. I hope that being "Sixteen and Pregnant" doesn't make it look like too much fun.