What I Learned from Going to the Movies

In case there's anyone reading this . . . .
I know it's been a month of Sundays since I've released an idea into the blog-sphere. I've been--I don't know--groggy. But I had a burst of brain activity today.

I rewarded myself with a trip to the movies. I submitted my grades, on time, and without waiting on and coddling students who didn't turn in work even after second and third chances. And I don't feel all sad about giving them the bad grades they earned, even though I really like some of them. What's really nice, though, is that I saw "The Best Man Holiday" for the second time. I love it! It's just an enjoyable, entertaining, fun film. AND it has Taye Diggs' perfect teeth and Morris Chesnutt's dark chocolate goodness. And the female actresses are stylish and Nia Long should still totally play me in the movie of my life. It's a wonderful rhythm of tear-jerking sadness and laugh-out-loud humor. I think that rhythm reflects the way life seems to me these days. It's a gut-wrenching mix of highs and lows.

Sitting in the dark, thinking about how nicely styled the characters are, I also thought about how the story underscores how vital friendship is. Our friends really are the family we choose. They help us mark the moments that matter as we are living our lives. They provide context and meaning. Those relationships are intimate in a very particular way. We need them. I'm glad I have good friends.

And I'm just going to say this, too: I like seeing black folk on screen doing the darn thing. These characters are people I'd like to know, not because they're perfect, but because they are emotional and have fears and desires and they fail and they do the wrong thing and then sometimes do the right thing. And they look good. There's something to be said about the politics of pleasure (Joan Morgan said it) and it's just pleasurable to view this world get lost. It does still have this weird, generic Christianity that I can do without, but I can forgive that. It makes me happy. It feels good to watch.

Finally, an unrelated side note: I gave in and "adopted" an Elf on the Shelf for our family. My children begged for one for the second year in a row, but realized that he's as creepy as I think he is. And yet, they say good morning to him as soon as they wake, and tell him good night before bed. It's rather fun to see where he's going to end up every morning. I'm glad he's here. This could be the last Christmas when both of my children fully believe the magic.

I like to re-read posts from the last few holiday seasons this time of year. I don't think I can do that this year, but I'm reminded that I've had some good ones.

So, all in all, I think I still believe the magic just a little.

Not Very Tempting, Tyler Perry

I gave myself an end-of-semester, before my children are out of school treat today and went to the movies. I really wanted to see 42 but decided to wait until I can see it with my hubby (which really means that I'm waiting for it to come on HBO or Showtime and the children to go to sleep). I had read a couple of commentaries on it, and knew from the get-go that I was probably not the ideal demographic. I don't get along well with Tyler Perry movies. Or Kim Kardashian. But I had just watched the Grey's Anatomy episode with Jurnee Smollett and remembered that I like her. And Vanessa Williams. Perhaps most importantly, seeing it would get me out of the house and out of my head.

Not long into it, I decided that I needed to blog about it. Watching the scene from the teaser, in which Judith (Smollett) and her lover first have "sex" on his private plane was intensely disturbing to me. The clip presented this as passion-filled and sexy. But I just found it creepy and violent. If I had read Carolyn Edgar's discussion I wouldn't have been so filled with ick, but I didn't, so I was left to make confused faces in the dark with the four other people in the theater. This character, Judith, says no--repeatedly and firmly, while clawing and hitting this man. Is it just me, or is that rape? She never actually says, "yes"; she just stops actively resisting. Um, that's not the same thing, folks.

I have lots of other problems with this story, including the bland way that marriage is portrayed, and the fact that Judith complains that her husband Bryce takes her for granted while, in my estimation, she also takes him for granted. She never fully discusses her needs or desires with him--he forgot her birthday the year before, but she doesn't even mention it for the current birthday and then is in despair that he forgot again. I can't remember any scene that depicts them even getting close to sex (except for when she gets all hot and bothered by her lover's innuendos and rushes home to attack her thoroughly confused husband). Of course, when I think about it, people who have sex in this movie get punished, so maybe that's why he doesn't. Then, there is the ever-present problem with overblown, jacked-up religious silliness. I know this is some people's version of Christianity, but it's not mine. I can't even unpack all of that right now. Seriously.

And then, there is there weirdness of Judith at the end of the movie, old, alone, and limping along with her HIV and unresolved Daddy issues. I'm not sure why she needed to be barely mobile. Or why Smollett couldn't play her at the end of the film. It's all so confusing.

This probably could have been an interesting plot, but it falls flat as a pancake.

I did, at least, get out of the house, though. So I guess it was good for something!

Easy on the Small Screen

NBC is set to develop a new detective series based on Walter Mosley's character Easy Rawlins. This is exciting news.

I first met Easy in the movie Devil in a Blue Dress starring Denzel Washington. (It, too, is based on a Mosley novel of the same name.) Although I love Denzel, Don Cheadle stole the movie as Easy's sidekick Mouse.

I recently had my students read the novel which was actually my first time reading it as well. (Mouse does not steal the novel which leads me to say, Kudos, Don Cheadle!) It's a quick read and an intriguing story. I mean, it's a mystery novel. If you're looking for something not too heavy, but not that light, it's worth the read.

What concerns me about this series, however, are two things:

1. Non-comedic shows with black leads do not do well on broadcast television. I was so excited about NBC's Undercovers (who wouldn't be excited about Boris Kodjoe!), but, as I suspected it would, it went away. I worry how this will do.

2. It will be set in the 60's. Again, what's with the 60's nostalgia? I know, I know. The series takes place between the 1940's and 1960's. Maybe in this pro-60's era of television, this was the best time to propose this series? I don't know, but I raise an eyebrow to it.

Regardless, when it comes on, I'll watch.

You Can Get With This, Or You Can Get With That

So, I keep seeing these teasers for Eat, Pray, Love and they are making me a little sad. I've mentioned before how it deflates me that I'm too old to be on "The Real World" and that I don't have a skill set that matches a reality competition show like "Project Runway" or "The Next Food Network Star." I'm feeling like there are so many things that are beyond my reach. And I hate being left out! Aside from these much less probable opportunities, there are grants and institutes and workshops that I know don't fit into my life. It's not feasible to leave my family for a month or an entire summer. Jaunting off to Paris seems unlikely any time soon. And I still don't understand how anyone manages to write an entire monograph when they have children. Furthermore, shouldn't I be the thirty-something host on "The View" (anybody tired of hearing that one yet?)?

So, here's the thing: The whole Eat, Pray, Love scenario just reminds me that taking a year off from my life may never happen. I remember thinking, around age 22, that I wanted to have a cool, silver convertible sports car. Instead of that, I thought, I'm scrounging for crumbs in graduate school--for what seems like forever. And it kind of was forever. I spent my entire twenties buried under books and living on pennies and then getting married. I didn't have enough money to do anything exciting. When I turned 30, I finally graduated and I was pregnant and adding a whole other layer of responsibility. Being carefree and careless, making totally random choices, eating, praying, loving. When can I do that? Can I ever do that?

I have to acknowledge that this view is the perspective from here. I'm in my thirties. My career feels stalled. My children are at very needy ages. We have lots of bills. I'm tired--a lot. I'm not saying that the trade-off isn't worth it. I'm happy with my choices, but every now and then my world seems very, very small.

I'm starting to wonder if there is ever really going to be a time in my life when I can do something crazy.

Blind?

So, I saw The Blind Side last weekend. And tonight I watched the 20/20 piece about the back story. It was both moving and eyebrow-raising.

I was glad that the 20/20 story highlighted some key points that the film took liberties with. For instance, the movie basically gave all the credit to the Tuohy family for joining Oher and football; Oher himself was quick to point out the fact that the sport had been part of his life long before the Tuohy family entered. I also thought it was very important that the film chooses to start this story after other people had shown interest and concern for him. Specifically, there was a recreation director (or someone like that) who facilitated his entrance into the prestigious school where he began to flourish. That man took Oher to the school along with his own son. And he was African American.

I point that out for two reasons: 1) I try hard to avoid the Dangerous Minds/Freedom Writers/Losing Isaiah formula that seems to suggest that black people are doomed to their own pathology and tragedy unless able white folk save them; 2) When Debra Roberts asks the Tuohys to comment on the curious coincidence that the large black boy who they take in is steered toward the school where they are former athletes and boosters, it just sort of hangs there. The issue is never fully addressed, although they and Oher dismiss any sordid intentions. They also mostly glide by the issue of race; although they acknowledge the weirdness of a big, homeless black boy living with a wealthy white family in Memphis, their message is that love took over and he just became their son. The daughter's words about being able to count on someone who loves you for no particular reason had a clear ring of sincerity. So my eyebrow raising has less to do with the idea that these people schemed to deliver a football giant to Ole Miss (because it doesn't seem that they were scheming) than it does with the incomplete discussion of these issues.

I think it's also important to note that the Touhys suggest that Oher would have made something of his life anyway. He is a central player in, well, his own story.

I'm just wondering what falls out if we shake this tree a bit. So, what's the story of all of those children who aren't great at sports or who don't stumble upon the right rich family? While these stories make us feel good, doesn't every child deserve a school where someone notices that he's homeless? Where he gets some help even if he's a she (why are these movies never about girls, anyway?) Doesn't every child deserve a life that allows her to fulfill her whole potential? How do we make that happen without simply waiting on rich families?

So, while there are heart-tugging, smiley, sweet moments in this film, I'm also saddened by the children I know who didn't get everything they needed to be whole. And by thoughts of the children I don't know who have holes in their lives. It's complicated.

Random

• Had parent observation day at The Babydoll's dance class and confirmed that, among other things, I will never be a dance instructor. Ten noisy, noisy pairs of tiny tap shoes, ten tiny jumping beans disguised as little girls, and ten pairs of tiny fingers on the floor ready to be stepped on with aforementioned tap shoes--I barely made it through an hour of sitting there and watching my own child.
• Saw The Princess and the Frog with The Babydoll and her friend. Friend repeatedly asked, "Where's the princess? I want to see the princess!" I actually thought this was a decent princess movie since I try to avoid the whole princess thing in general. Okay, we did wear a tiara and take pictures with the poster, but that was just so she wouldn't be left out if the other girls at the theater wore theirs. Anyway, Tiana is bold and adventurous, caring and smart. She wasn't thinking about any stinking ole prince because she had her own dreams; plus, she and the prince go through some things together and develop a relationship instead of the "he looks at her beauty and falls in love" plot. Anika Noni Rose commented about the film and its merits, considering the history of black people in animation, which I think helps to smooth out some of the problematic elements. I wonder if I could hurry up and write a paper before everyone else does.
• The Babydoll and Baby Boy both seemed to like the movie. They were literally on the edge of their seats for most of the movie. That pleases me.
• What the heck is happening to my break?! Who are these annoying students who keep trying to pull me back in, mob-like, to campus matters? Leave me alone! Do you know that I have an entire class to plan and papers to write that have barely been conceived? Do you know that Christmas is a week away? Do you know that I have more than half of my list to buy? Do you know that everyone's getting a gift card because I hate to shop?
  

Thankful Thursday

Given the state of things in the world (my own little world and the world at large), I've decided to start posting a "Thankful" message each week. Too often lately, I've felt the need to keep myself from spinning downward. I would love to hear what you are thankful for, too, big and small. So here goes:

Today I am thankful for the promise of a quiet day to do work that is meaningful to me. And I'm delighted that part of that includes watching a video on blaxploitation films that make me want to put on a bright tangerine minidress and dance to the theme song from Shaft. Yay for today!

Thoughts inspired by Chris Rock's Good Hair

1) Nia Long should sooo play me in the movie of my life.

2) I had the culture of hair on my short list of dissertation topics in the beginning stages. If I had stayed with that, maybe I'd have been in Chris Rock's film.

3) What was Barbara Walter's issue on "The View" this morning? She asked a question about black women's hair that Whoopie answered about 5 times. Then she immediately asked Chris Rock, who gave her the same answer.

An addendum: Thoughts about my crappy day that should shock teenage girls into using birth control every single time:

1) I've actually had poop in my hands today. Twice.

2) Yesterday my son sat on the toilet and peed a straight line. Onto me.


*And happy, happy birthday to The Diva!

The Movie List Again

I want to talk about my movies, too. As much as I like books, though, I don't know if I could do it for books. And you're right, I can't believe you haven't seen The Matrix (any of them). But anyway, here are my movie selections:

Films With Which I Fell In Love Forever At First Viewing: The Color Purple, Rent, Malice, The Five Heartbeats, Underworld

Films That I Like But I Don't Know Why and It's Weird: White Chicks, Legally Blonde

Films That Make Me Weep: The Joy Luck Club, The Five Heartbeats, Forrest Gump, Mulan

Films That Make Me Sing For Days: Rent, The Temptations, The Five Heartbeats, The Sound of Music

Films I Cannot Turn Off If I Catch A Glimpse On TV: The Temptations, The Negotiator, Blade I, II or III, Harlem Nights, Transformers

Films That I Quote (Even Just One Line From) Far Too Often: The Color Purple, Dirty Dancing, Don't Be a Menace to Society While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, O Brother, Where Art Thou
Films That Are Beloved For Mostly Nostalgic Reasons: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Imitation of Life, The Wizard of Oz, Batman, Beetlejuice, The Wood

Films I Wish I Could Un-See: The Piano, Apollo 13, Hostel, Menace to Society, Sex and the City

Films You Won't Believe I've Never Seen: Casablanca, Citizen Kane, The Godfather (any of them), Basic Instinct, E.T. , An Officer and a Gentleman

Films I Saw (and maybe liked) But Don't Remember a Thing About: Big Trouble, The Seventh Sign

Films That Made Me Love a Performer: My Fair Lady, Peggy Sue Got Married, Legally Blonde, What's Love Got to Do with It

The Movie List

Per the funny and fascinating list on outside voice, I've apparently been tagged. So I'm writing my own list of films and maybe I'll do the one about books, too. I like her categories, so I'll start with those. Here's what I came up with:


Films With Which I Fell In Love Forever At First Viewing: Dirty Dancing, The Color Purple, Steel Magnolias, The Last Dragon, Six Degrees of Separation, Forrest Gump, A Place in the Sun

Films That I Like But I Don't Know Why and It's Weird: Dead Presidents, Scream, Forget Paris, The Butterfly Effect, Malice, When a Man Loves a Woman, Clueless

Films That Make Me Weep: Love Story, The Joy Luck Club, What Dreams May Come, Ghost, (again) The Color Purple, Philadelphia, Mississippi Burning, Glory, Dead Man Walking

Films That Make Me Sing For Days: Chicago, The Sound of Music, (again) Dirty Dancing, The Wiz, Coal Miner's Daughter, The Five Heartbeats, The Temptations, The Jacksons: An American Family

Films I Cannot Turn Off If I Catch A Glimpse On TV: Notting Hill, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, Misery, Delores Clayborne, Citizen Ruth, Hoop Dreams, Imitation of Life

Films That I Quote (Even Just One Line From) Far Too Often: (can't say it enough) The Color Purple, (and for good measure) Dirty Dancing, What's Love Got to Do With It, Boyz in the Hood, Jerry Maguire, Citizen Kane, It's a Wonderful Life, A Few Good Men

Films That Are Beloved For Mostly Nostalgic Reasons: Breakin' (I and II), Back to the Future, An Officer and A Gentleman, ET

Films I Wish I Could Un-See: The English Patient, Mannequin, Invisible Maniac (such a loooong story), Freddy vs. Jason, Don't Be a Menace to Society While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot

Films You Won't Believe I've Never Seen: The Matrix (any of them), The Green Mile, Annie Hall, American Graffiti, Die Hard, Jaws, Network

Films I Saw (and maybe liked) But Don't Remember a Thing About: The Crying Game (okay, I remember that one thing), The Cider House Rules, About Last Night, The Piano, Bladerunner, Endless Love

Films That Made Me Love a Performer: Norma Rae, The Graduate, Sophie's Choice, Top Gun, Jungle Fever, Pretty Woman, Malcolm X